General

Lianaxx:
Hey, I’ve been thinking a lot about this kink and where it comes from for me. I’m addicted to thinking… it’s a problem… Anyway, I don’t want to remove any enjoyment for anyone, so please only read/engage if this is also a topic that interests you. I’ve noticed that I have something in common with anyone I’ve had long-term feederism experiences with. We were all enmeshed/emotionally parentified as children by our mothers (some still are, while others are more like me and as adults have realized the enmeshment and have become empowered to create boundaries). I’m going to give a quick explanation of what I mean below, but I suggest googling “enmeshment” and “parentification” for a far better, less reductive explanation. What I mean by enmeshed/parentified is that our mothers made us in some way believe we were responsible for their wellbeing and that we needed to/still need to meet our mother’s needs, so they can be happy. This is incorrect and unhealthy. A parent is responsible for fulfilling their own needs and their child’s needs, not visa versa. (Please note: this is different than your parents growing old or being sick and you deciding to help them. I’m talking about a completely capable adult putting undue and unfair expectation on a child into adulthood. Their wellbeing was made to be your responsibility.)

Anyway, I’m wondering if there’s a correlation here indicative of the greater feederism kink, or if it just so happens these are the people within the kink I happened to be gravitating to. If anyone is willing to look at their own relationship with their mother and tell me if it coincides or doesn’t, I’d so appreciate the dialogue. Also, if you’ve noticed any of your own correlations from your own experiences, would love to hear about that as well. I understand this is a vulnerable topic and some may not want to go there (totally fair, always keep yourself safe!), but if anyone feels open to talking about it, please do. If you’re not interested in talking about it, please be respectful and don’t engage.

Lianaxx:
Hey, I’ve been thinking a lot about this kink and where it comes from for me. I’m addicted to thinking… it’s a problem… Anyway, I don’t want to remove any enjoyment for anyone, so please only read/engage if this is also a topic that interests you. I’ve noticed that I have something in common with anyone I’ve had long-term feederism experiences with. We were all enmeshed/emotionally parentified as children by our mothers (some still are, while others are more like me and as adults have realized the enmeshment and have become empowered to create boundaries). I’m going to give a quick explanation of what I mean below, but I suggest googling “enmeshment” and “parentification” for a far better, less reductive explanation. What I mean by enmeshed/parentified is that our mothers made us in some way believe we were responsible for their wellbeing and that we needed to/still need to meet our mother’s needs, so they can be happy. This is incorrect and unhealthy. A parent is responsible for fulfilling their own needs and their child’s needs, not visa versa. (Please note: this is different than your parents growing old or being sick and you deciding to help them. I’m talking about a completely capable adult putting undue and unfair expectation on a child into adulthood. Their wellbeing was made to be your responsibility.)

Anyway, I’m wondering if there’s a correlation here indicative of the greater feederism kink, or if it just so happens these are the people within the kink I happened to be gravitating to. If anyone is willing to look at their own relationship with their mother and tell me if it coincides or doesn’t, I’d so appreciate the dialogue. Also, if you’ve noticed any of your own correlations from your own experiences, would love to hear about that as well. I understand this is a vulnerable topic and some may not want to go there (totally fair, always keep yourself safe!), but if anyone feels open to talking about it, please do. If you’re not interested in talking about it, please be respectful and don’t engage.

Munchies:
Yeah ... I don't buy into that. That might be true for some people but not for most. This is a very Freudian way of thinking.

(As a side note, Freud is the "father" of psychology due to the sheer number of people that got into the science specifically to prove him wrong.)

For example, I got into this because I think fat men are hot. There's no childhood trauma surrounding this. I love the way they look and feel. I also love cooking and I want a man that will appreciate what I make.

I briefly got into gaining, but that was because I was sickly for so many years and hated how underweight I was. Once I went from slim to thick, I lost interest in gaining. Plus, I always preferred watching people get fat - especially men.

Munchies:
Yeah ... I don't buy into that. That might be true for some people but not for most. This is a very Freudian way of thinking.

(As a side note, Freud is the "father" of psychology due to the sheer number of people that got into the science specifically to prove him wrong.)

For example, I got into this because I think fat men are hot. There's no childhood trauma surrounding this. I love the way they look and feel. I also love cooking and I want a man that will appreciate what I make.

I briefly got into gaining, but that was because I was sickly for so many years and hated how underweight I was. Once I went from slim to thick, I lost interest in gaining. Plus, I always preferred watching people get fat - especially men.

Enas:
I would contest this. I claim even what "normies" like is not the result of something organic, but of a very traumatic process.

I'm saying this while having in mind beauty standards and the general preference each gender has for the other on personality.

It doesn't make sense to me for anything regarding the psychology of people to not be, at least partially, a direct result of social trauma given the social and historical context (narcissism for example).

I also think that the only way to have it any other way, you would have to explicitly construct whatever it is that we're talking about, in a rational way, from complete scratch. And a test for this is to be able to defend it intellectually.

Lianaxx:
I haven’t yet noticed any patterns regarding fathers or siblings, so I didn’t mention it. It doesn’t mean I don’t think there are other factors at play, people who are culpable for trauma, or that kink has to be trauma-related. None of that is being said here. In my personal experience… this is the only thing me and the others I’ve engaged with have all had in common, so I was curious if any other person experienced something similar. I am begging this conversation to leave the theory behind and focus on personal experience…

LoLbreadplease:
I am curious about a correlation between fat phobic influences and feedism. My mom loved to eat, was overweight, but warned her children not to be fat, while also associating eating with comfort. She neither wanted us to be thin or too fat, and sought some kind of control to achieve our desired weight. There was a stigma around being fat, obviously, but it was confusing. I think my dad may have been at least an enabler, if not an encourager, of her eating and weight. But she thought being fat was wrong from an aesthetic perspective, as her weight was "commented" on from a young age, and she was chubby growing up. From a young age, I was turned on at the thought of being fat, but I developed an eating disorder (likely to regain control, I see now), and I stayed fit my whole life until last year I realized my fetish for gaining weight. My daydreams came to life. I wonder how my upbringing influenced my fetish, although I suppose it's possible I was just wired to want to be fatter.

LoLbreadplease:
I am curious about a correlation between fat phobic influences and feedism. My mom loved to eat, was overweight, but warned her children not to be fat, while also associating eating with comfort. She neither wanted us to be thin or too fat, and sought some kind of control to achieve our desired weight. There was a stigma around being fat, obviously, but it was confusing. I think my dad may have been at least an enabler, if not an encourager, of her eating and weight. But she thought being fat was wrong from an aesthetic perspective, as her weight was "commented" on from a young age, and she was chubby growing up. From a young age, I was turned on at the thought of being fat, but I developed an eating disorder (likely to regain control, I see now), and I stayed fit my whole life until last year I realized my fetish for gaining weight. My daydreams came to life. I wonder how my upbringing influenced my fetish, although I suppose it's possible I was just wired to want to be fatter.